I am forever searching videos of this style on Youtube. I don’t know what I am supposed to be. Although, I know what I enjoy, and what job I do. But that is not who I am.
I always have a million thoughts a day that I should be an entrepreneur or a writer or a mother. Sometimes I think I can do all three. I have turned things down because of fear, fear of escaping the comfort zone, fear of what my husband will say, and fear of losing a stable income.
Is that a way to live? Or are people romanticising pursuing their passions? So many people can make money out of their passions. That’s not why I write, but then, am I meant to earn a living doing something I know longer enjoy?
I am not fulfilling the needs of a self- actualising person. I simply say, “Oh, well I can’t quit my job because we won’t have any money for X, Y, Z”. Or, “I can’t quit my job because of what X, Y, Z will say”. And then I go to work and feel bored and deal with toxic people and feel unfulfilled. I come home and do some the same thing every day.
Is it my ego that is the problem. Should I remain in the humble thoughts, which I often have, which include, “I am lucky to have a job, where so many don’t”. Or should I say thanks for the opportunity and move on. Everyone tells me to do the opposite of what I really want. I have remained in the comfort zone because of fear. And that’s stupid.
Thanks for reading!