This is a quote from “The Breakfast Club“. My mum’s favourite movie. As I get older I think it’s true.I let a lot of things go that bother me. I don’t stand up for myself and don’t mouth off as much as I should do. My Nan would be ashamed, she always spoke her mind, which led to endless amounts of trouble.
I focus on completely different things. I always want to learn more, but now the things I want to learn revolve around money or becoming financially independent. Is that wrong? Have I become everything I hate? Did I read Drop City for nothing?
My brother (AKA Ram Dass’ Godson) is a great inspiration. He is always true to himself. He doesn’t care about money and is always humble. He is a great artist but knows how to compliment others and work collaboratively.
Living in Hong Kong a long time makes you feel like a shark, attacking and competing with everyone. So is it growing up that made my soul die or is it Hong Kong? When I watch “The Darling Buds of May” I realise that actually I just want to be Mariette Larkin. My mum semi- achieved this lifestyle in our childhood anyway. It just so happens that Charlie happens to be Asian.
Sometimes I worry what happened to the girl who punched a guy much bigger than her for slapping her brother. The girl who went to protest at the student rally in London when the Tories got in. The girl who used to bunk college and the train to go to audition for Skins. Now I keep quite when someone is bullied at work or made redundant for ridiculous reasons.
Tell me if your soul has died too.
Thanks for reading today’s emo ponderings.