A lot of people in the blogging and vlogging world have talked about international marriage. It is not doubt just as difficult as any other marriage and I certainly don’t claim that it is more difficult! However, there are some things that you need to discuss and figure out before you enter into an international marriage.
Firstly, kids. If you are going to have children, you need to decide how you feel about raising them in the country you are living in, or would you prefer to move back home. Hubby and I change our stance on this quite regularly. In terms of education, I think Denmark is a fantastic option. However, I would like to move back to the UK also. This is something we discuss quite regularly as things change, and you should too!
Next think about how long you will stay in the country you are living in. Do you own a house here? Would you like to stay here for five, ten or twenty years. Discuss your long term goals beforehand. Talk about any visa issues that may occur if getting married. If you are married to a Hong Kong citizen (I believe) you are entitled to a dependent visa.
Talking about money is uncomfortable for some. We seem to talk about every day to know where we’re at. Different cultures have different ideas about handling finances and discussing money, budgets, salary etc. My family is very open about this and my new family even more so. However, westerners are a bit demure when discussing finances. Make sure you do so before getting married.
Travelling home, and travelling separately means that we have time apart, can see our family and feel refreshed. It also helps us keep our independence. Discuss how often you will travel home to see your family. For example, I go home every Christmas solo. I also visit in the summer, sometimes with Hubby. He also travels to Australia and the US to see his family solo. This works for us but may not work for everyone, so talk about it!
Finally, don’t explain yourself to anyone. When hubby and I announced our engagement we received a lot of unsolicited advice and comments from colleagues and friends. Luckily our families are extremely supportive. If I had listened to the opinions of other people, I wouldn’t be where I am today. Smile politely and block it out.
Here are some of my favourite blogs & vlogs about international marriage.
Thanks for reading!